“Confessions Through Karaoke” by Janet A.

“I know just how to whisper and I know just how to cry. I know just where to find the answers and I know just how to lie… And I know just where to touch you and I know just what to prove. I know when to pull you closer and I know when to let you loose” – Air Supply

Karaoke machines, what a great invention. What’s even better? The Magic Mic karaoke machine, with its crazy long list of songs and the brutally honest singing score that appears at the end of each one. Now, it’s a disappointing fact that I can’t seem to get a score I’d be proud enough to post, but it’s just a number anyways, just like age, weight and everything else people are ashamed to talk about.

But I put shame aside and being home alone I did what I said I would be too chicken to do: I sang! Thank God none of you saw the last time I did (I was ten and it was awful), but if you had you’d probably know why I vowed never to do it ever again, not even in the shower. It’s been 10 years and I finally mustered up some sort of courage (or stupidity) to get myself to do it.

And you know something, it was fun, really really fun. Even though I was the only one doing it and the only one laughing, it was definitely something I think I’ll do again. So, while belting out to Air Supply it hit me: they’re right when they said the best things are almost always the scariest. Like roller coasters with poor seat restraints, camping without parents or food, falling in love and even scarier, being single.

Now, I’ve only been living the single life for about a month now, but seeing as I’ve pretty much spent the past 5 years being someone’s other half, this one month feels like several. And looking towards the coming ones, I’ll admit I’m petrified. I’m not sure what to expect. I’m not used to this at all. As sad as it is, I’m not used to being Janet, and just Janet. And I’ve been doing pretty good for not being in contact with James (the ex) for a last little while, but as the title states I do have to confess.

For the majority of my waking hours he doesn’t cross my mind. I forget he even exists sometimes. Then there’s rare moments, suddenly popping out of nowhere, where my mind brings up all this trash I’ve been hoping I’d never think about. Where is he now? What’s he doing? Does he even remember who I am, or who I was to him back then? Has he replaced me or just found someone even better? Where did I go wrong? These questions, really awful questions with, what I think in truth have even worse answers, so I hate to ask them.

I hope to God I don’t get any answers because another thing they were right about: ignorance is bliss. I second that. Thinking about him scares me and not being with him scares me even more. But if there’s any truth to my lessons from karaoke and my joyful time spent with Air Supply and Cher, it’s that I may be shaking in my boots, but it’s nothing but a good sign. So take a huge breath, grab the microphone and sing it until your lungs burst out. -Janet

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SZ Top Writers | Janet A.

My name is Janet. I live in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.

I’d say I’m a pretty simple girl.

I love listening to music, watching movies, spending time with friends, shopping, camping, going to the beach and anything to do with the outdoors. I love to read, write, talk and watch comedies.

I am currently in college, in hopes of becoming a writer and television host, eventually taking over Carson Daly’s late night talk show (Last Call).

Janet’s Posts:

• Confessions Through Karaoke
• Music Matters
• Sayonara Summer
• Year End Plan

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By Janet A.

I went to the No Doubt show last night. It was my first concert in over a year, and one that I had been counting down for. I’ll admit the opening act, Paramore, was the true reason for my ticket purchase but by the end of the night, I was filled with something more than just the joy of seeing two great female-fronted bands.

It was my first time sitting in upper deck (a.k.a. the nosebleeds), so the view itself was something brand new. As I belted out the words to Let the Flames Begin, I stood there and stared at the crowd. From up there I could see the entire floor crowd, bouncing up and down, like tiny little ripples in an ocean. It was like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Throughout Paramore’s 50 minute set I, along with fellow fans, became enthralled, caught in some sort of excited trance, that made us all wreck our voices and dance so hard we’ll probably end up with hip problems.

After their set was over, it was time for No Doubt to come out. My ears were ringing from the crowd’s excited screaming. The intro music started playing and the place went absolutely berserk. The band members’ silhouettes danced across the white curtain in front of the stage as the the green, red and blue stage lights ran across the crowd.

From my seat I could see the entire place, get up from their seats, screaming and dancing like the world was going to end tomorrow. Once the curtain dropped and Gwen Stefani began to sing, it seemed the entire universe had disappeared and all that was left was this place, these people, this moment and this music.

It was at this concert, sitting up in my upper deck seats that I saw the true power of music. About 9,000 people from different backgrounds and walks of life, all different ages and interests gathered together for one common love: music. The music that moved all of their bodies and moved their lips. It was something extraordinary to be apart of. And it amazes me that a group of musicians write out their emotions, put them to sound, and somehow it results in such a captivating experience for this crowd. This crowd left whatever differences or life issues they had at the door. They came, they danced, they sang and basically lost themselves in song.

“This is how we’ll dance when, when they try to take us down, this is how we’ll sing out.” – Let the Flames Begin, Paramore.

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Year Plan

By SZ Blogger, Janet A.

“Imagine someone gave you a magic wand that would make your life exactly how you want it to be in 5 years, what would you ask for?” This was the question my image-editing teacher started the class off with. He went on to tell us his humorous secrets to success and then dropping us with an assignment to go along with it. My homework: think about where you want to be in 5 years. Think big and truly try to figure out what you want out of life, and then create an artistic collage depicting it.

That’s simple enough: rich, famous, and happily married to Prince Charming. There I’m done, or at least that’s what I thought.

It’s such a simple question, and after really thinking about it, I found, it doesn’t have a simple answer.  You would think it would be easy seeing as, all through high school they tell you to figure your life out now, have a plan A, B and C. Needless to say, I slacked off when it came to future planning, but now that I’m getting graded on it as well as getting older, I figure this is the perfect time to actually start thinking about it. I mean, I have thought about it, but not down to the dirty little details.

So I dragged my best friend Traci out for a long thoughtful car ride conversation. After a few hours of discussing daydreams, I’ve figured out that my life would be perfect as long as it involved music, traveling, writing, Mr. Right and my friends and family. The wealth and fame and everything else would merely be perks.

I looked at my “life plan” scribbled on a napkin and thought, this isn’t organized whatsoever. Suddenly, I was hit with another important piece of the puzzle: I hate planning! I found I’m the happiest when I’m just going with the flow. When I put my mind on the shelf and just do what feels right. So added to that previous list: a good balance of spontaneity and elimination of the pressure to “figure things out.”

Now this “plan” of mine isn’t completely flushed out to a tee and I doubt it ever will be. I enjoy being scattered. Whether or not I get a good grade on it I really don’t care. My teacher said this would be an “eye-opening” assignment and I agree. Now, I feel relieved to know, although points along the way aren’t set in stone, at least I can finally see where I’m going.

Janet’s Other Blog Entries:

• Confessions Through Karaoke
• Music Matters
• Saynara Summer
• Year Plan

About Janet

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By SZ Blogger, Janet A.

The past summer, will forever be engraved in my head, as the best of the best thus far. Starting in May, I’ve slowly emerged from my mountains of text books and back into the lives of my loved ones. And thankfully they took me back like I had never been gone in the first place.

I’ll really miss the freedom to do whatever you felt, when you felt like it, like sleeping until noon and staying up all night. As well as late-night phone calls, spontaneous trips to hidden little towns. I’ll miss diving into the lake, and walking on terrifyingly shaky wooden piers. I’ve spent this summer at concerts, at the cabin and reading about the world around me. I’ve attempted conquering my fear of ghosts, spiders and deep water (all of which I’m still afraid of).

But even with all of that, I’d have to say the most fulfilling part of the summer was my summer love. Not the short-lived and cheesy ones you see on TV, but the one I had and will keep throughout the dreadful winter. It was the love of my friends that I’m mentioning now. Somehow within these short four months, I’ve managed to rekindle my high school friendships, as well as forming new and unexpected ones. I feel, after this summer I have finally found my place. Aside from my mom and dad, I’ve found a group of people I can count on through thick and thin. And for all of this I’m completely gracious.

So thank you summer ’09 for making yourself as amazing as you possibly could have been. If my mind was a room and my good memories were pictures, I’d have 4 walls completely covered from the ceiling to the floor.

Janet’s Other Blog Entries:

• Confessions Through Karaoke
• Music Matters
• Saynara Summer
• Year Plan

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