Teen Self Esteem

By Michelle P.

Through Her Eyes

Reaching out for that hand to hold,

Knowing just about everything that was told.

Her eyes laid upon the reflection that shown,
The body that put on everything that was known.

Her eyes had tears, her hair perfectly straight,
It was the very fear, about her very weight.

She thought she wasn’t pretty. Not at all.
Oh, what a pity, for the girl who fit a size small.

For she saw someone, who was not her,
Who weighed a ton, in that damn mirror.

She cried oh so much,

she just could of died at the very touch.

From that point on she never ate,

Knowing that she won’t put on any more weight.

Sizes went down, smiles went up,

Never will she frown, like a girl who found her lost pup.

Months went by, people were concerned,

Wondering why this is what she yearned.

Skin and bones, that was what she became,

The everyday groans, were driving her insane.

She stood in front of the mirror,
As she did once more,

Really seeing her, Even worse than before.

She saw the same thing, ugly and fat,
She really couldn’t bring, herself to look at that.

She just wanted to be pretty, and oh so loved,

Even skinny, by her very beloved.

Even though this girl may not be me,

You should know,
this is what most girls see.

Home

Sweetest Valentine Ever

By Kayce, 25

Hayley and Skyler had been best friends since kindergarten. Now they were sixteen years old and were going to be spending their first Valentine’s Day apart since they were four years old because they now both had boyfriends. They were both so excited about their boyfriends taking them out on dates and giving them gifts, they almost completely forgot about their traditions. They used to watch chick flicks together, eat candy and chocolate, and do each others nails and hair.

“Hey Hayley, I was just thinking about the good ol’ days. I was gonna ask you if you could highlight my hair for me for my date with Jason tonight, and me made me think about all the Valentine’s we spent together.”, said Skyler. “Yeah, I’m kinda sad about us not spending this year together, but at least we both have great boyfriends…”, replied Hayley. The two girls then made a promise that they would spend the next day together, just doing the fun girl stuff they always did. They were just hanging out on Hayley’s front porch, listening to music. “So, where is Nick taking you?”, Skyler asked Hayley. “I don’t know…he never told me”, replied Hayley.

“Oh. Jason is taking me to some fancy restaurant I’ve never even heard of before. I’m kinda nervous.”, said Skyler. Just then, Jason and Nick both appeared, walking up Hayley’s driveway. “Hey guys! What are you two doing here so soon? We’re not even ready to go anywhere…”, said Skyler. “Yeah… we were just thinkin’…”, started Nick, “Well, from what you both told us, we know that you two have always hung out together on Valentine’s Day, and it probably is sort of a tradition or somethin’…”, finished Jason.

“Yeah so, we thought maybe we could all hang out together, that way you two could be together, and we could all start a new tradition.”, said Nick. “You know, since we’re now part of your lives. I mean, Hayley, Skyler is your best friend, and I know she probably always will be, so I want to be her friend too.” said Nick. “And same for me, I don’t want friends to ever come between us, so I hope we can all be friends with each other.”, said Jason. The girls looked at each other and said, “Awwww!”

The girls hurried upstairs to change and do their hair and makeup while they guys went to the store around the corner to get them some small gifts, teddy bears, chocolates, and candies. When they got back to Hayley’s and the girls were still getting ready, the boys just played video games downstairs and waited. Finally, about an hour later, the four of them went to the fancy restaurant, La Chez Restaurante, and all shared some appetizers.

Afterwards they went to the movie theatre at the mall and watched Confessions of a Shopoholic. The guys picked out the movie, lol. At the end of the night, the girls thanked their boyfriends for giving them the best Valentine’s Day ever. Nick stayed behind to kiss Hayley goodnight, and Jason walked Skyler home. The next day, the girls got together to hang out and do all the fun girl stuff they always used to do and talked about how wonderful their boyfriends were. The end. Fictional story, based on my best friend Jill and I and our wonderful guys.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, we all wanna know the best Valentine’s Day you’ve ever had! Or simply discuss the Sweetest Thing anyone’s ever done for you!

“The Grave” by Lindsay G.

Compassion, empathy, love, support
You gave it all to me
It fed my soul
My emotions temporarily sated in the moment
You were the warm milk that soothed me to fall asleep
I knew you loved me then

Depression, anger, loneliness
You gave to all to me
It consumed my every being
Until I was left all alone
Depressed, I stood in the rain
But soon collapsed to my knees
Begging “please”
Soaked in the rain of
Tears
Regret
Guilt
Shame
Anger
The day you died…
I questioned your love

Murder, deceit, guilt
I was deceived
Your murder
Non-existent
The anger fought its way into my thoughts daily
I had not the energy to defend myself
Against the assault
I closed my eyes
Never forgetting the pain
I’m the house torn apart by the twister,
The one left behind
The last one standing
The one that would truly miss you
I hated you at that time
You told me I was the only one keeping you alive…
then why the suicide?
I thought to myself
You never loved me

Years go by without you
Despite the continuous anger,
The tears still bled freely
From my eyes,
My legs,
My arms
Something was missing
Someone was missing you

More years pass, by, as did possible childhood happiness
I continued to die inside
Physically punished
Mentally raped
But it turned into something new
Not of you
But of hate
For my every being
Every pore,
Bone,
Muscle,
And strand of hair
Deserved nothing
No joy
No hope
No life
NO CHOICE
I love you, and I forgive you

The rage against my self grows stronger
Although something is missing
And I am missing you
Like a desert craving rain
I’m hung low and dry
Wet eyes slowly dry
As another year goes by
I force myself to become numb and cold
Even just,
I still love you

Through the haze, hail, fog
And complete darkness
I trudge my way to your grave
I never came until now
I hope you can forgive me as I forgave you
I wrote a letter to leave upon your gravestone,
And placed a solid rock upon it to keep it company
I stare at the cold, hard dirt
Wishing
Wishing with all my heart
I could join you
But NO
I know you would rather see me fly in the clouds
Than be stuck underground

So I walked away
I looked back a few times
Tears resurfacing anew
But then I knew
I knew what you did wasn’t about me
I understand you now,
I know you still care, wherever you are
However
For always
And ever true
I will always love you,
Without guilt
Anger,
Or shame
Just know that at least I will be missing you,
Beyond your grave

Next: What She Sees (Self Esteem)

Model Maria Katerina as Madison Taylor (Click pics for bio)

“Are you guys coming?!” Madison Taylor was seventeen years old and had just graduated high school. School was out and the summer was hers to enjoy before her new life would begin. She was going to attend college in the fall, but was still unsure of what she wanted to become, or what classes she wanted to take. For this reason, she thought about dropping out of school altogether and finding a job she loved. Either way, it was summer, and Madison just wanted a break from her years of studying, and have some real fun. She just called out to her sisters Emma and Hanna to get in her car. Emma was 15 and Hanna was 21. The three were going to thier parents’ cabin near Lake Eerie for a week.

“Hold on, Mady! We’re coming, we just gotta pack the food!”, yelled Emma. Hanna came out of the house. “Wow, cute outfit!”, said Hanna. She told Madison to sit in front of her car so she could snap a picture and add it to the summer album they were going to make.

Finally, Emma came outside with the food in the cooler: potato salad, chips, hotdogs and marshmellows to roast, sandwiches, and a few drinks. “OK let’s go have some fun!” she said. “This is gonna be so cool” said Madison as she got in the driver seat. Hanna called shotgun and jumped in the front, while Emma slid in the back with the food.

Four hours after a long, exhausting drive, they finally pulled up at the cabin. “Uh, I think this place has been broken into..” said Madison, “Look, the window is broken and the screen door is flapping open and shut!”

“Should we go check?” asked Hanna. “I don’t know, maybe we should… I’m just kind of scared. I dunno about you guys, but my phone doesn’t have any service out here…” replied Madison. The other girls checked their phones and agreed that they didn’t have service either.

“We’ll, I’m not afraid of anything.” exclaimed Emma. “I’m going in.”

Emma walked straight up to the cabin and peeked through the window. Then, she went over to the door and pushed it open. “Uhh, you guys should come see this.” She said. Hanna and Madison slowly and cautiously crept over to Emma.

“Oh my goodness!” Cried Madison as she covered her mouth trying not to laugh…

There were racoons sitting on the kitchen table!

“How are we gonna get them out??” asked Emma. “I don’t know… let’s just keep the door wide open and scare them out I guess.” Said Madison.

So the girls did just that. They opened the door all the way and hid behind the wall where they banged and made a whole bunch of noise. The racoons darted out of the cabin. As the girls laughed, they went in the cabin. The sun was beginning to set and they wanted to hit the beach before sundown. But first they had to fix the broken window. Hannah swept the floor while Emma and Madison taped some cardboard over the broken window. “There! All fixed. Now let’s go swimming!” screeched Madison. The girls took turns changing into their bathing suits in the bathroom.

After they had all changed, they headed towards the beach. A little ways down the road, Emma snapped a picture of Hanna with the gorgeous town scenery in the background.

The girls walked for about a mile. Once they got to a very wooded and secluded area, with nothing but trees and a path cleared out which led to the beach, some guy was trying to sell these ridiculous moose hats. “Get your moose hats heeere! Only $25!” The girls ignored him but he kept following them and yelling, “Get your moose hats heeere! Only $25!” and “Hello Ladies! Would you like a moose hat?!” The girls just kept walking but he literally followed them for 3 minutes straight. Finally, Emma turned around and said polietly, “No thank you. We don’t want or need moose hats”. “They’re very fashionable!” the guy replied. He grinned, showing off his yellow and black teeth. “No thanks, we don’t even have any money on us.. we’re going swimming.” Said Hannah. Finally the guy stopped following them but he stood on the path and watched them walk away. “What a creep.” said Madison. “Why is he standing in the middle of nowhere trying to sell moose hats anyways?” asked Emma. The three shrugged it off.

They finally arrived at the beach which was packed full of people, and very cute guys. “Let’s go talk to some hotties!” Said Hanna. “Nah, lets let them come to us” said Emma. Madison layed out her beach towel and said “Good idea.” The girls layed out on the sand and admired the beautiful view.

After laying on the beach for only ten minutes, the sky got really cloudy. “Yeah, I think it’s going to rain.” Sighed Madison as she rolled over. “I think so too. We better get going.” Said Emma. The girls got their things together and started walking back to their cabin.

As soon as they left the beach area, it started to drizzle. “Let’s run for a little bit!” shouted Hanna. The girls started running but, being a little out of shape from being stuck in school all year really tired them out. So they had to slow their pace a little.

The sun was now almost fully set and the rain was pouring down fast. “Woo-hoo!” screeched Madison as she twirled around in the rain. “Watch out..” Hanna started to say “ooooo” the girls said as Madison crashed into that guy selling moose hats in the middle of the forest. “Sorry!” She said. “Why are you standing in the middle of nowhere in the rain and in the dark, anyways?” asked Emma. The girls didn’t stop to talk, they just kept walking but faced his direction. “Don’t ask.” He said. The girls turned around without a word. “Don’t ask!” the guy yelled louder. “We didn’t ask” Madison quietly said to her sisters, giggling. “I like the forest people better I guess!” The guy yelled. The girls giggled a little and forced themselves to run back to the cabin.

“That was such a weird guy” said Emma as they got inside their cabin and closed the door. “Yeah, he totally was weird. Don’t ask? He told us not to ask like 3 times” Madison laughed out loud. The girls decided to make themselves each a big salad and a turkey burger for dinner.

After eating their delicious meals, they played a few board games. Monopoly, MadLibs, and scrabble. They lounged around and listened to the rain gently pour down. The cardboard they put up in the window was surprisingly strong and the rain didn’t bother it because of how the roof was shaped. The girls talked about how nice it was to have a break from school and work, and just be free for once.

Although they never found out why there was some weird guy standing in the middle of the woods trying to sell moose hats, they still had a great time -going to the beach everyday, swimming, playing games, cooking over an open fire or on the grill, and once in a while, feeding the racoons who would often come by to search for food at their cabin.

SZ.

The night grew colder

as Julie trudged through the snow. She had left because no one was home. Her mom was at work, her dad was with some coworkers, and her sister was probably out with her boyfriend at some wonderful ice rink or whatnot.

Julie didn’t remember a Christmas where someone wasn’t gone. It weighed down her heart like it had been carved out of lead and stuck inside her chest.

An older college couple passed Julie laughing and giggling. They seemed so happy just to be together, not caring about the snow or the muddy streets, nothing could separate them.

Julie sighed and kept walking. She passed numerous stores that were still open with people who are getting last minute presents for loved ones. She finally came back to her neighborhood, walking down the never ending streets. She walked past an elderly couples house where they sat outside on a swing, holding hands. She stopped for a moment, examining them, wondering to herself what they were smiling and whispering about. The older lady caught sight of Julie and motioned her closer. Julie obliged, stepping down the pathway to the porch. The old lady smiled, “Little girl, why are you out here all alone in this kind of weather, especially on this special night?” Julie shrugged shyly, stuffing her hands in her pockets before speaking up, “I have nothing really better to do and a walk helps me clear my thoughts.”

The old lady watched in content, she stood up, flatting her ankle long skirt and went to the door. She turned back to Julie, “Well, can’t let you leave without something, now can I?” She quickly motioned for Julie to come in, holding the door behind her. The old man following quickly.

Julie stepped inside to the warm house, looking around at the old paintings and what not. There was a living room to the left with a giant, glowing Christmas tree in the corner near the lite fireplace. She walked slowly behind the old lady, not paying no mind to what she was rambling on about.

The old lady stepped into a large kitchen with cookies, gingerbread houses, and other sweets scattered across the table and counters. She reached up into a cabinet, pulling down a pack of hot chocolate. She put a kettle on the stove and poured the pack into a small tea cup.

Julie made herself at home, wondering around the decorated sweets, studying them. When the old lady pulled out a chair for herself, Julie did the same.

The kettle began to scream and the old lady rushed to the stove, quickly pulling it off and pouring the water into the cup. She grabbed a spoon and started to stir the hot chocolate. She set the cup and spoon in front of Julie with a gentle smile.

Julie took the cup and held it up to her lips, taking in the liquid slowly trying her best not to burn herself. She set the cup gingerly back on the table, saying to the old lady, “Thank you very much.”

The old lady smiled, “It is Christmas my dear, give and you shall receive. But I really don’t expect to receive anything from you, dear, just my act of kindness today.” Julie smiled wider and decided since no one was home at her house, she would stay her a little longer and talk to the old lady.

Home | More Stories